WOW #049: Learning From Regret

Quote of the Week:
“I haven't lived a perfect life. I have regrets. But that's from a lifetime of taking chances, making decisions, and trying not to be frozen. The only thing that I can do with my regrets is understand them.”
- Kevin Costner

When you consider your biggest regrets in life thus far, what comes to mind? 

It's not the most pleasant topic to consider when diving into a newsletter, but I promise you there's a payoff at the end.

Chances are, whatever came to mind for you just now was a short list of 2 types of regrets: 

• Actual Regrets
• Unrealized Regrets

I'm gonna guess that the unrealized regrets weigh heavier on you than the actual regrets.

Translation: statistically, and more so over the course of time, we tend to regret more things that we never did vs. the things that we actually did.

Everyone has regrets, it's impossible not to. 

Time has a way of healing many “actual” regrets that we experienced.

Conversely, time has a way of worsening the “unrealized” regrets that never happened.

One of my favorite authors, Dan Pink covers a lot of this in his amazing book, “The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward.” In order to capture data around the topic of regret to analyze for the book, Pink and a small team of researchers administered an online survey and captured over 23,000 submissions from people in 109 countries.

After crunching the numbers, Pink established 4 core regrets from his many submissions:

• Foundation Regrets, (related to stability and responsibility)
• Boldness Regrets, (missed opportunities)
• Moral Regrets, (regrettable ethical choices)
• Connection Regrets, (neglecting important relationships) 

If we’re being honest, we’ve experienced multiple regrets across all 4 of Pink’s Core Regret Framework.

If we’re open, vulnerable, and introspective enough to understand (and even revisit) those regrets, it could go a long way towards improving our present and future lives as professionals and business owners. 

2 Takeaways:

1. Regrets Crossover Categories and Require Careful Attention. Take the 2nd category above, Boldness Regrets. A common one from Pink’s survey was from people who never mustered the courage to start their own business. Yet, that regret likely avoided a similar Foundation Regret (stability, responsibility). Regrets are often born from tradeoffs of lesser and greater regrets.
   
   
2. Regrets Teach Us, Not Belittle Us. Regrets clarify and instruct. Regrets reveal if we are open to learning about ourselves, from ourselves. Do you ignore negative feelings or do you pay attention to the signals? If you do and you understand and act on them, you're growing. Regrets serve a deep purpose and can be spun in a positive way.
   
   

1 Action:

Start The Practice Of Treating Regret As a Teacher, Not A Judger.

In your day-to-day work when your mind drifts towards regrets of the past (Foundation, Boldness, Moral, or Connection), don't judge how you handled it.

Instead, think of 1 or 2 important lessons from that regret that you can apply to your present and future business and write them down.

Have a great rest of the week,

Hubert